If that was your dad, he is hot
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
