Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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