But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
