Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
