he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
