Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
