That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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