my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize