WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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