My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
