I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
