turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
