Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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