you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
