Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
