under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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