I could make wine with my vomit
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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