jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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