doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
