sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
