and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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