plz talk dirty to me
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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