The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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