quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
