I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
