If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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