I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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