Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
