She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
