I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
