they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
