omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
porn star boner night. come get it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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