Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
