I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
