Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
they need to just BURY HIM!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
