so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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