Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
