I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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