Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Blood and glitter go together right?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
