Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
