He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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