hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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