Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
