I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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