So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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