it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
