if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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