But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
