I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
