maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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