it hurts more in the daytime
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
