So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
