smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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