Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
