btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
