He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
