dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
