you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
