i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
