fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
