Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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