You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
